Blog by DINKInternational.com
A worldwide childfree social network
Adults-only weddings are becoming increasingly popular, and at DINKInternational.com, we can understand why!! While just about everyone realizes children can potentially be disruptive at weddings, SOME parents seem not to care about this possibility – they believe their kids should be allowed at the wedding regardless of potential behavior issues. Yes, some kids are very well-behaved. But others can be loud, disruptive, or even down right destructive! And even if a parent monitors their child well to avoid destruction, there is little that can be done about a young child being loud/screaming/having a tantrum (other than one parent removing themselves and the child from the wedding ceremony) during the highlight of the event – the vows.
Yet, couples requesting adults-only weddings have frequently been called “selfish” for doing so. They have received much backlash from their so-called friends for making this request.
Sorry, but whose big day is it again? Last time we checked, it wasn’t the big day of the friends of the couple being married! So, shouldn’t the request to have an adults-only wedding be respectfully honored by friends? Most wedding invitations are sent out well in advance, meaning parents have plenty of time to save up funds/arrange for a baby-sitter for the big day. Besides, who is paying for the event, the food and the drinks? Why should a couple be expected to pay for young children that likely will not remember the event? Isn’t it more selfish to expect the couple being married to do this, and to expect them to be understanding about a loud/obnoxious child during a ceremony that represents one of the most significant events in their lives – one that they have probably spent months or years planning (and perhaps many more years dreaming about), not to mention thousands of dollars? Why do some parents seem to feel entitled to bring their child?
Just as a bridesmaid will likely honor a brides request to wear a dress that the bridesmaid personally finds hideous because it is understood that it is the Bride’s special day, can’t the same respect be given to the adults-only request?
While some childfree couples choose to allow friends and family to bring kids to their wedding, or even have kids involved in the ceremony, others prefer the adults-only option. Even couples whom are not childree seem to be increasingly electing for an adults-only wedding! In our opinion, it should be entirely up to the couple who they want to invite to their wedding – and that should be true for both adults AND kids! If the couple wants to allow kids, that’s fine! If they don’t, that should also be fine! It’s THEIR wedding, after all.
Couples sometimes reluctantly agree to allow friends/family to bring their kids, despite their better judgement, so as not to be considered “rude” or “selfish” by those guests. This is the case in the article featured below, where a bride allowed a friend to bring her child to a wedding only to have her wedding ceremony horribly disrupted by this child. And where was the mom that insisted on bringing her son? She was there, but she was either unable to or didn’t care to control the situation. She allowed her child to be so loud that many guests complained that they could not hear the couple’s vows – and what’s worse is that the video of the vows is potentially also jeopardized! Now, can you imagine on the day of your dreams – the day you have spent thousands of hours and dollars planning – having a young child (whom you didn’t even want at your wedding to begin with) be so disruptive that your honored guests could not hear your vows, and your memories of this special event are compromised? Although it was ultimately her choice to allow this child to come to her wedding, we still feel sorry for this woman. After all, with all the time, money and energy that goes into planning a wedding, not to mention being able to gather all your friends/family into one spot at the same time, this is one very special day that just cannot be repeated! There is often lots of tension between parents and non-parents (whether the non-parents are childfree or just don’t have children yet), and this can put a lot of pressure on a childfree person, or non-parent, to feel obligated to opt-out of the adults-only wedding they truly want so as not to loose their friends. We hope anyone who is wanting an adults-only wedding but is feeling that pressure is better able to stand up for their decision after reading the article below!
Did you, or would you, request an adults-only wedding? If you did, did you have any issues with friends being angry with you or not honoring your request? Did any of you who opted to allow kids at your wedding later regret it? Leave us a comment or share your blog post about your experiences!
Kids will be kids. They don’t know that you spent 1.5 years planning your fairytale wedding. They don’t realize that making lots of noise during your ceremony while you and your love exchange vows is a big no-no.
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